I am finally all set to embark on a new journey. However I am leaving with lot of thoughts and mixed feelings. As I prepare to depart my home which had transformed from being a baby nest to a confined solitary over this long antagonizing period, I have just come to realize how much of an overwhelming experience this feat is going to be for me.
I turn back over this time, and find my entire life flashing towards me, with questions like how far have I come and how much further would I go. All our lives we search for the right job, right partner and happiness and choose and chase missed opportunities. We lament to a song of heartbreak and dance to romance and all the while hope wondering if there is someone somewhere something perfect for us. Most of us poised at the cusp of young adolescence make very difficult decisions potentially effecting others and venture forth in the safe and hallowed hallways of academia. Some of us go up a notch higher but it is so often that most of the time we fail in achieving what we set out for and let our believers down. I have a very scary feeling that I am going down now, but not without a fight. Its going to be a long haul ahead and am I ready?
Probably just the thought of working hard has taken over my senses now, and I am not as emphatic as I was the first time, feeling nerves and the pressure of growing up and loosing time. I do not know how would things turn out, but they are for sure not going to be the same.
A dark feeling loiters and constantly reminds me of the cut throat competition. What would happen if I fail, will I be up for the challenge. Its comforting to find some support in old friends and family but a visceral fear of change surrounds me as I enter Notre Dame in the name of our Lady.
I guess I just gotta get out there and saw my wild oats...
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